


Please (Don't) Leave

by jaskiersvalley (connorssock)



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Geralt thinks he's a monster, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/pseuds/jaskiersvalley
Summary: There were so many reasons Geralt could reel off for not allowing a bard to travel with him. They're all lies. There is only one true reason and it's one he knows he can't change. Bards shouldn't travel with monsters.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 14
Kudos: 161
Collections: The Witcher Secret Santa 2020





	Please (Don't) Leave

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Lamberts as part of The Witcher Secret Santa.

There were very good reasons Geralt didn’t want a bard following him around. He couldn’t afford to feed another mouth, didn’t have the energy to protect another person when, inadvertently they got too close - worrying about Roach was enough of a distraction already. That wasn’t even considering that Geralt wouldn’t be able to protect a bard from the vitriol that followed a Witcher around. Deep down, Geralt knew there was one more reason, the real reason. Because he knew that he could go hungry to feed a bard in leaner times. And a bard could earn his keep so it wasn’t like Geralt was the sole provider for a limpet. Humans were pretty good at self-preservation and, if Geralt told said bard to stay with Roach, they were less likely to get injured. As for the open hatred, that was part of the real reason but not the whole thing. If a bard didn’t like it, they wouldn’t stick around, moving on to better and nicer muses. As if Geralt could actually be a muse - that was a ridiculous thought in itself.

The real problem was much more personal. Blaviken was still a raw nerve, not far enough in the past for Geralt to be able to move on. He couldn’t let himself forget either, because if he did, nobody would remember Renfri and her suffering. Sure, people would remember Geralt and the massacre but they didn’t care beyond the gory parts of the story. A Witcher had gone feral, butchered humans. That made for a good tale, one that scared children and adults alike. Nobody cared about the truth, the reality that was behind what had happened. In a way, it didn’t matter because Geralt had still killed all those people. He didn’t have much choice but he was still a murderer, a monster. To have a bard come along and decide that the Butcher of Blaviken was a worthy companion was beyond the realms of reality. Nobody should want to willingly follow a Witcher around, let alone one with a reputation like Geralt. Yet there was this young fool, smiling and scurrying after him. He hadn’t even introduced himself.

What Geralt couldn’t face was the idea of the naive, well meaning optimism fading into bitter disdain. Without a doubt it would because nobody liked, let alone respected, Witchers. This bard would quickly see the error of his ways. Despite Geralt’s seeming peace with what had happened at Blaviken, the truth wasn’t quite what he projected. He could recall Marilka’s disgust, the villagers and their cruel words, could feel each stone and rotten vegetable that had thudded into his body. Rightly so too. The only thing that set him aside from a hunting dog was the fact that he got paid in coin rather than food and shelter. In fact, a dog was probably more valued than a Witcher because it was easier to keep and definitely more welcome in a home. Geralt couldn’t remember the last time he was invited into a home and allowed to stay. An abandoned hut was no home, there was no secondhand comfort to bask in.

The problem was, Geralt knew all of this yet he still craved the bard’s affection. Not his heart, nobody in their right mind would give a Witcher their heart. But, maybe, the bard’s kindness would soothe some old hurts. Or at least until he realised just what a monster Geralt truly was and ripped it all away. That was what Geralt wasn’t prepared to deal with, to be offered a glimpse into what could have been, a glimmer of normalcy, only to have it snatched away. Especially because Geralt knew himself well enough to know that the slightest hint of someone being nice and he was like a stray dog with scraps. Marilka was one such example, she had shown interest and a lack of fear in Blaviken. Her rejection alone had hurt more than the rest of the village put together.

So now, Geralt was left with a choice, run the bard off or accept that his heart was going to get trampled once again. Mind made up, he punched the bard and tried to leave him in the dirt. It didn’t work. Which one left the other option and Geralt tried everything in his power to hide what he truly was. He didn’t say much for fear of showing off sharper than natural teeth. He didn’t fight as hard for his pay when an alderman or minor nobility only handed over half his promised coin, in case it scared the bard and he ran off. Because, despite himself, Geralt had grown to care about the man. After a few weeks together, he’d even learned his name when he announced himself to a tavern of bawdy drinkers: Jaskier.

There was one constant battle between them though: Geralt wouldn’t let him tag along for contracts. No matter how much Jaskier wheedled and promised he wouldn’t be but a silent backup, Geralt resisted. He couldn’t risk Jaskier seeing him killing creatures, covered in their entrails while his eyes and skin turned ghastly from potions. Everyone had their limits and Jaskier frowned in disgust when Geralt gutted a rabbit for their dinner. There was no way he could deal with Geralt in all his Witcher-y, well, it wasn’t glory that was for sure.

All of Geralt’s careful plans were for naught though. He’d managed to slay a cockatriace and was snarling in rage and victory, breathing hard. The next step was to harvest the bodyparts when there was a crack of a branch behind him. Twirling, sword raised and ready to fight, Geralt froze as his eyes locked with Jaskier’s. They stared at each other, Geralt heaving for breath and knowing he could do nothing to hide his true nature while Jaskier went wide eyed.

“Oh.” With that, Jaskier turned and he was gone.

Just like he’d always known it would happen, Geralt’s world shrank back to the cold grey of loneliness. He knew Jaskier would leave but had hoped to bask in his colourful warmth for a little longer yet. It hurt to have him gone, fleeing at the sight of Geralt’s true form. Sword slowly lowering, Geralt hung his head. The cockatrice could wait, the dead didn’t go anywhere. He was allowed a moment to mourn the loss of his not so silent shadow.

Another snap of branches and the sound of feet rushing closer filled his senses. Geralt was almost tempted to not turn and allow whoever it was to do whatever they wished with a seemingly unawares Witcher.

“Here.”

A familiar voice and slowly Geralt turned. Blackened eyes met brilliant blue ones. His own satchel was being held out towards him in one hand and a rag in another. Not understanding, Geralt stared.

“I figured you might want to clean up a litte. There’s a bit of-” Jaskier gestured with the rag towards Geralt’s cheek. “-oh never mind, here.”

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Jaskier wiped the cockatrice remains from Geralt’s cheek, fingers lightly tracing the darker veins around his eyes. Once done, Jaskier smiled.

“I’ll get a bath ordered when we’re back at the inn.”

Words weren’t Geralt’s preferred mode of expression. Rage and anger were better conveyed with swords and fists. It left him with the unfortunate issue of not knowing what to say. However, his body knew what to do. Reaching for Jaskier, he pulled him into a tight hug. Hope wasn’t something that really factored into a Witcher’s life but Geralt found he finally and some. And that hope? It went by the name of Jaskier.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr @jaskiersvalley


End file.
